Star Trek: Crusher-Picard
by hvgn
Summary: When Beverly gets a life threatening brain disease, Captain Picard must do everything that he can do to save her, even if that means that letting her go.
1. Chapter 1: Deanna

Counselor Deanna Troi didn't understand her friend. Usually Beverly was very happy, but today Deanna sensed that her friend was very upset and Beverly was not telling them why.

"Beverly? Are you all right?"

"What? Yes, I am fine." Beverly sounded unconvincing, and the captain realized this as well.

"Are you sure you are all right, Beverly? You look quite pale." He asks.

"Oh? I just am feeling a little under the weather today. Actually, that is why I came. Could I take the day off today?"

"Of course I don't mind if you take the day off," Picard replied, "you may take as many days as you need to."

Beverly relaxed a bit. "Thank you Captain." She turned and left the room, leaving them both stunned.

Deanna turned to look at the captain. "What was that?"

The captain had been looking at the door that Beverly had left from, but at her words, he turned back to her.

"I don't know." He sounded truly puzzled. "I am not saying that she shouldn't take a day off, but the last time she took a day off was when Jack died" He paused, then continued. "She must be feeling truly ill."

Deanna nodded slowly with a solemn look on her face.

"There is more isn't there?" the captain asked seeing her face.

There was a lot more that Beverly wasn't telling them. "She looked very disturbed and it was indeed strange that she asked for a day off, but what bothered me most was the look on her face when she walked in. She looked like she had just found out that someone had died."


	2. Chapter 2: Deanna

Later that day, Deanna went to her exercise class. To her surprise, Beverly wasn't there. She waited awhile, and then went on with her exercise as usual. After she was done, she went to see where she was.

"Computer, what is the location of Dr. Beverly Crusher?"

"Dr. Beverly is in her quarters."

Deanna headed that way, and soon found herself in front of her friend's door. She knocked on her door and a voice from inside called that she could come in. The doors in front of her slid open. She saw Beverly lying on the couch. When she walked in, Beverly lifted her head and gave an attempt of a smile to her friend.

"Hello Deanna! I am so sorry that I had to miss our exercise today. I wasn't feeling up for it."

"That is quite alright, Beverly. I just stopped by to see how you were doing." "And to figure out what had her so scared earlier," Deanna thought to herself. There was obviously more going on than Beverly catching the common cold.

"I am feeling a little better, thank you, but still don't feel well enough to work. I hope the captain doesn't mind if I take another day off."

Deanna still felt the depression that hung around her friend, but it felt lighter now. "Of course the captain won't mind! You can take as much time as you need."

Beverly smiled a sad smile. "Still, I feel a little guilty for not working. I –" She broke off suddenly, her hands flying to her head, and she closed her eyes. A wave of pain so intense that Deanna almost crashed to the floor came over her from her friend.

She heard Beverly gasp, and saw her grab something from the table beside her. Beverly stuck something into her own arm, and slowly the pain she had sensed from her friend began to dissipate until it was a dull throb. She looked at Beverly.

"Are you okay?" If what Deanna had felt from her friend was only a bit of the pain that Beverly was experiencing, and she couldn't imagine how it must feel to be her right then.

"I am fine. I just have a small headache, that's all. I am feeling a little drowsy now though."

"Then I will let you get some sleep. Do you want me to get you anything before I go?"

"No thank you, I will be fine. And who knows? Maybe I will be feeling better enough to work tomorrow?"

"Maybe," Deanna agreed unconvincingly. This decided it. She was going to have to speak to the captain.

She went first to Will's quarters. She figured that he should be there too when she told the captain. He opened his doors as soon as she knocked.

"Counselor! What are you doing coming to my quarters so late?" Will wore a slight smirk on his face, but when he saw the expression on Deanna's face, his expression went similarly somber. "What is it?! Did someone die? Are we getting attacked by aliens? Is the captain possessed?" Will backed away from her cautiously as another thought came to him. "Are you possessed?!"

"No!" she said, "None of those things!"

"Are you sure? Because I think that if you were possessed then you would be saying the same thing."

"I am worried about Beverly," Deanna said.

"Okay, so… did you, uh, want to talk about it?"

"I was going to talk to the captain about it, and I thought that you would want to be there."

"I'll come, just give me a minute."

A few minutes later they were both down by the Captains quarters. Will knocked on the door, and Deanna stood beside him. The doors slid open, and the captain looked up from the papers in his hand.

"Well, who do we have here? Come in you two! What brings you here tonight?"

"Captain," Will spoke first, "we came to you because we are worried about Dr. Crusher."

The Captains face immediately became serious. "Yes, how is she doing? Have you talked to her?"

At his words, Deanna felt a wave of worry come from him.

"I haven't, sir, but Deanna has," Will replied.

Deanna spoke up. "Sir? We all know that Dr. Beverly never takes days off, let alone two days off in a row."

The captain interrupted, "two? I thought she was only taking one off?"

"She was Captain, but when I went to talk to her tonight, she asked me to ask you if she could take another day off."

The captain nodded, "Okay. Go on."

"When I went to see her in her quarters after she missed our exercising session, she was laying on her couch. We talked for a little, when all the sudden a great wave of pain came over her. I felt it too, and could hardly bear the pain, and I wasn't even feeling the same amount of pain as she felt! She gave herself an injection of some kind, but it didn't take away all the pain. I could see that in her eyes." Deanna shivered as she remembered the look of pain on Beverly's face. "Whatever she has, it is a lot worse that just a headache, and she wouldn't tell me what it was."

Silence filled the room after Deanna finished. After a few minutes, the captain spoke.

"What would you suggest that we do? Beverly is the most qualified to diagnose herself."

"I think we can ask her. Just because she won't tell me what was wrong, doesn't mean that she won't tell you."

"I can try." The Captain looked to his door. "I will, ah, let you know if I find out anything."

They all left the captain's quarters and captain headed in the direction of Beverly's quarters.

Deanna looked up at Will. He hadn't said much after she had told them about what had happened earlier.

"What's wrong?" she asked him.

"Nothing, I just can't help but think that is if were anything that could be healed, then Dr. Crusher would have already healed herself."

"She is going to be just fine, William Riker! Don't go saying those things!"

He raised his hands in defeat, "I hope she will be fine too Deanna. I really hope so."

At this, her anger dissolved, and she started crying softly. "The pain, Will! She is in so much pain!

He surprised her by coming over and giving her a hug. "She is going to be alright, Deanna. She will be alright."

Deanna let herself fall into his arms and only then did the tears come.


	3. Chapter 3: Jean-Luc

Jean-Luc Picard knocked on Beverly's doors. As he waited for a response, he thought of how Counselor Troi's had shivered just talking about the pain that she had been in. He had been worried about Beverly ever since she had taken the day off, but he had never expected anything to come out of it. Now here he was.

He was so wrapped up in his worrying, that he didn't notice immediately when the doors slid open.

When he stepped into the room, the first thing he noticed was that the lights were quite dim. After his eyes adjusted, he looked around.

"I am in here," Beverly's voice called from her bedroom. He walked over to her.

"Jean-Luc? What brings you here?" Beverly attempted a smile from where she lay in her bed.

"I just came to see how you were doing," he replied.

"I am doing alright, I just wasn't feeling well, and so I decided to lie down in my bed. It was more comfortable than the couch." She gave another small smile.

"Beverly, I talked to Counselor Troi. She said that you were in great pain."

Beverly became more serious at that. "Yes, she came to visit me, and was overcome by a wave of pain. Strange because – "

He interrupted her, "Beverly, don't lie to me. How are you truly feeling?"

She looked at him sadly, "I am fine, she must have – "

All of the sudden she stopped and gave a groan of pain. She put her hands on her forehead.

"Beverly! Are you alright?!"

She looked up at him with pain in her eyes. She somehow mustered the energy to point to the table beside her where there lay a medicine canister. He grabbed it quickly and stuck it in her arm.

Slowly, her breathing evened out, her eyes became more focused again. "Thank you," she whispered hoarsely.

"You're welcome. Now are you going to tell me what is going on?" He looked at the bottle again. "Why are you taking that medicine? I didn't even know that they made pain medication that strong!"

"Jean-Luc," She spoke in an even tone, "I have a virus. In my brain that has been escalating rapidly over the past few days." She was all doctor now, repeating the diagnosis.

"Beverly," the captain whispered.

She looked up at him as tears began pooling in her eyes. "I am dying Jean-Luc."

The last part was spoken as a whisper but it hit him as hard as if she had yelled it.

"No!" Beverly grimaced in pain at his raised voice.

"Please Jean-Luc. Yelling won't change anything."

"Sorry."

Silence fell upon them, Jean-Luc still trying to process what he now knew, and Beverly not wishing to talk anymore.

"When did it start?" He asked in a soft voice, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"It started awhile ago. I had hoped it was a different disease, but I knew deep down what it was. It has only gotten worse since. You know what medication I am taking. "

"Is their any cure? " Please, please, PLEASE let there be a cure!

"No, not that I know of. Then again, I didn't go into Neurology. I did contact one of my friends who is a Neurosurgeon. She hasn't replied yet, though."

"Why didn't you tell me?" His tone was very quiet.

"I wasn't sure until yesterday."

"When you came to the office."

"Yes."

More silence.

"May I go to sleep now Captain?"

"Don't call me that."

"What? Captain?"

"Yes."

"Alright," she replied, sounding more tired by the second.

"Beverly?"

"Yes?"

"Goodnight," he said softly.

She opened her eyes, and gave a small smile before closing them again.

"Goodnight, Jean-Luc." She whispered. Minutes later she was sound asleep.

Leaving him only to his thoughts, he tried to think over what she had told him. She wasn't just sick she was dying! She didn't just have small headaches, she had a virus in her brain that was killing her! And she was going through all of this by herself, with no one to comfort her. He didn't know how she did it. She was the strongest woman he knew. He looked at her frail face framed by the pillows around her. He felt the urge to kiss her, but he resisted, and decided that he had to leave. He didn't want to have to tell Deanna and Will, but he knew that he would have to do it. Slowly he got up and left the room.

With one more glance backwards, he stepped out the doors.


	4. Chapter 4: Jean-Luc

"What do you mean she is dying?!" Deanna was as angry as he had feared she would be. Yet he would rather her stay mad at him then what he knew would come next – the sadness.

"I mean that she has a disease in her brain that is killing her."

"Is it curable?" Will asked from beside Deanna.

"Not that she knows of."

"The pain I felt…" Deanna trailed off.

"Yes, she is taking very strong pain medication, which was what you saw her inject herself with."

"Poor Beverly," her anger was beginning to turn into sadness. She leaned into Will, and the captain knew that Will was the only one who could comfort her right then. He excused himself and went back to Beverly's quarters. She was lying in her bed in the same position that he had left her in.

He went over to the couch and lay down. He hadn't planned on staying the night, but there was no way he was leaving now. He wondered about the Neurologist that Beverly had contacted. Maybe she would know a cure. He wondered where she lived. Currently their course was headed back to Starfleet to get some touch ups on the ship.

Starfleet! Jean-Luc sat upright. They would have Neurologists! He was sure that they could cure her! If they couldn't cure her then he didn't know who could! Another thought struck him. What if Beverly didn't live long enough for them to get there?! No. She had to live. She would. He lay back down. Now all there was left to do was to wait.

With the smallest ray of hope burning inside him, Jean-Luc fell asleep on the couch.

"Jean-Luc."

He woke with a start. Why was Beverly in his quarters? No, wait. He wasn't in his quarters. Where was he? Then it hit him. Beverly was dying.

"Beverly!"

He got up and ran to her bedroom where she was struggling to get out of her bed and reach the medicine canister on her desk. He quickly went to grab it, and put it in her arm. He heard her breath out from the relief of pain.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. How are you feeling?" He thought of how many times she had lied and said that she was fine and added, "Honestly."

She grimaced. "Honestly, I feel terrible."

He didn't know what to say to that.

He voiced the question he knew he didn't want an answer to. "How long?" His tone was so quiet that he could barely hear himself. She heard him though.

"A week, max. If it continues at the rate it has been going at, then three days or less."

Silence filled the room.

"Jean-Luc, when I die, could you please tell Wesley? I don't want him having to hear it from a stranger. "

"You are not going to die. We are going to Starfleet and there they will cure you."

"Jean-Luc, I – "

She was interrupted by the beep of her personal view screen. "You are receiving a call from Dr. Heidi Gordon," the automated voice said.

"Could you please get that for me?" Beverly asked him.

He went over to the view screen and pressed the talk button. Immediately a woman's face appeared on the screen. "Beverly!" She cried. "I –" She broke off when she only saw his face on the screen.

"Just a minute."

He brought the view screen over to Beverly's bed, and angled it toward her.

"There you are!" The woman on the screen said. "How are you doing?"

"I am not doing to great. Right now all I know about it is what I told you earlier."

Heidi's face pinched in worry. "Is there any way that you could get yourself to Starfleet?"

"I believe that the ship was headed there for repairs, but I fear that it might be too late."

"When will you arrive?"

The captain spoke up. "We will arrive in three days time."

Heidi looked at him. "Can you not speed up your ship? She might not even live that long!"

"We are going as fast as we can! Don't you think that if we could go faster than we would?!"

Beverly raised her hand, "quiet, please." Her voice was very faint, and her eyes were squeezed shut.

They immediately fell silent. Heidi spoke first. "Beverly, I will inform my staff here to prepare to do emergency brain surgery in three days time. Meanwhile, you concentrate on staying alive until then." She looked at him, "Take care of her." Her face was worried, and he knew that she would do everything she could do to keep Beverly alive. He just had to get Beverly to Starfleet. He nodded his head, and the screen went blank.

Sighing, he put the view screen back. He turned to look back at Beverly. She looked exhausted laying there in her bed.

"Jean-Luc, if I die – "

"You are not going to die."

"If I die, promise me that you won't blame yourself. Not like with Jack. This isn't your fault. "

"But I could have noticed earlier! I could have sped us up, and now you wouldn't be in such a race for time!"

Beverly looked at him with sad eyes. "Promise me you won't blame yourself. Please."

"I promise."

"Thank you."

Her eyes began to close.

"Beverly!" Was she dying already?!

Her eyes snapped open. "What?!"

He relaxed a bit. "Nothing. I just thought that you were dying on me already."

She gave a small smile. "I am just going to go to sleep now. I am not quite ready to die right now."

"Good." He felt silly for thinking she was dying, but the fear was still so real that he was still shaking.

Her eyes were closing again, but he knew that she was just going to be sleeping.

"Goodnight," She said softly.

"Goodnight, Beverly. Sweet dreams."

He would bring her to Starfleet on time. She couldn't die. She wouldn't. He looked back at her. She was sound asleep.

"I will get you there, Beverly. I will." Saying it aloud didn't help much.


	5. Chapter 5: Beverly

When Beverly woke up again, Jean-Luc wasn't there. "Jean-Luc?" She asked.

"No, It is me here," Deanna's voice came from behind her. She turned her head to look at her. Deanna looked like she hadn't slept much.

"Deanna." She gave her best attempt at a smile.

"Beverly." Her voice sounded hurt and sad.

There was silence before Deanna continued.

"When were you going to ever tell us?"

"I don't know. I had hoped that I never would have to tell you anything."

"But you were – are in so much pain!"

"You can't do anything to change that."

Deanna started crying softly.

"Deanna, they are going to try and do surgery as soon as we get to Starfleet." As little as Beverly believed that this would happen, she knew her friend needed some hope to hold onto.

Deanna sniffed. "Yes, the captain told us that."

A voice from the door said, "Yes, and the captain also to you to get him as soon as she woke up."

Deanna gave a little smile. "Right. That might have slipped my mind."

Jean-Luc walked into the room. "Deanna, I believe that Will was looking for you."

Deanna gave one last sad smile in Beverly's direction, and left the room. Beverly wondered what was up with her and Will, but decided that now wasn't the time to ask.

"How are you doing?" Jean-Luc asked softly.

"Fine. Could you pass me that medicine beside you? I think I might need it soon."

He passed it to her. "You are going to live through this, Beverly."

She doubted this. When she first found out, she was upset, and couldn't believe it, but now she had made peace with herself. She would be glad to live, of course, but she also realized that she might die too. She didn't want to get too hopeful only to have her hopes crushed later.

"Maybe." She said simply.

"You have to. I –" He reached for her hand and took it in his own. "I don't think that I could live without you."

He stopped and bowed his head.

"Sorry."

She thought about that night when she had told him that they shouldn't be together. She had sometimes wondered what might have become of them if she had allowed their relationship to go further. She didn't think that she was ready for that. But still – Another wave of pain came over her, cutting her thoughts short. She cried out in pain, and Jean-Luc looked up quickly. She grabbed the Medicine from where he had put it beside her and quickly injected it into her arm.

Her head cleared a bit and she leaned back into the pillows. Her head still throbbed, but she was able to see again.

"Are you alright?" Jean-Luc's concerned face appeared in front of her.

"The pain is getting worse, Jean-Luc! It is only getting worse!" She began to cry softly. At least death would be release from all this pain!

"I know," He said as he brought her into his arms. "I know."

She let herself cry into his shoulder. It was then in his arms that she realized that she wasn't ready to die. She had thought only of herself when she had been ready to die. She had so much worth fighting for here. And she promised herself that she would fight hard for her life.


	6. Chapter 6: Jean-Luc

To Jean-Luc's surprise, Beverly didn't leave his embrace after she stopped crying. Soon, her breathing evened out and she fell asleep on his shoulder. He lay her softly down on her bed.

He left the room quietly. He had to go back to the bridge. She would do alright without him for now. Just in case though, he would send Deanna back down to be with her. He wished that he could stay with her, but he knew that that was impossible, especially if he wanted to get to Starfleet on time.

With one more backward glance, he stepped through the doors, and they slid shut behind him.

Back at the bridge, after he had sent Deanna down to see to Beverly, he went to speak to Data.

"Data, how long do you think it will take us to get to Starfleet at the rate that we are traveling at?"

"My estimation would be one day, 15 hours, and 23. That is if we don't encounter any obstacles. Of course if – "

"Thank you Data."

"You are welcome, Sir."

He was doing everything he could do. Now, all there was left to do was to wait, and to hope that Beverly would stay alive long enough for them to reach Starfleet.

One day and 14 hours later Jean-Luc stood beside the bed in the sickbay where Beverly lay. They had moved her there when she had woken up, and been in so much pain that the medication hardly did anything to relieve it. When she had gotten to sickbay, the doctors there had put her into an induced sleep.

Now she lay on the bed. Across from him, Deanna was sitting in a chair on the other side of the bed. He watched Beverly's face. She was breathing in and out shallowly, and her face still looked pinched, as if she were still experiencing the pain, even in her sleep.

"Only one more hour, Beverly," He whispered. "One more hour and then we will be at Starfleet."

45 minutes later he was standing beside her bed as the heart monitor began beeping.

"What's going on?" He asked the doctor.

"I don't know!"

She was frantically pressing buttons and looking at the monitors.

"Her heart rate is dropping!"

Deanna got up. "What?!"

The doctor looked up with tears in her eyes. "There is nothing I can do right now. Dr. Beverly is dying."

* * *

Beverly's mind wandered. She faded in and out. She remembered vaguely that she was brought to sickbay. Weariness filled her. It was so much work to breathe! She thought about the promise that she had made to herself that she would fight for her life. "I think that I am losing the fight," she thought to herself. She realized that she wasn't breathing anymore. She didn't need to breathe any more. She was dying.

* * *

"What is happening?" He asked the doctor, who is looking somberly at the heart monitor, which has started beeping again. He didn't want to think about what that might mean.

"She's given up, hasn't she?" Deanna is the first to speak. "She only has a little bit of time left."

The doctor spoke up. "Yes, she is still alive, but barely."

There was dead silence as everyone processed this. He couldn't believe that Beverly might die so close to help!

Suddenly, his communications unit buzzed.

"Riker to Picard."

He slowly replied, "Picard here."

"We are just approaching Starfleet. Permission to land ship?"

"Permission granted number one."

A few minutes later, he felt the thump under his feet that indicated that they had landed.

Soon after, Beverly was being carted into surgery. She was pale, and he had thought that he had heard the heart monitor beeping every now and then. Among the doctors' faces, he thought he recognized the face of Dr. Heidi.

Soon he was sitting in the waiting room as Beverly was having a life threatening brain surgery. At one point he knew that Deanna had come in and was now waiting with him, but he was too distracted to care. Why wasn't anyone coming out? Was she dead? No, they would tell him if she had died, wouldn't they? At this point he didn't know anything for sure.

What felt like an eternity later, the door finally opened, and Dr. Heidi Gordon stepped out. He stood up.

"Is she alive?"

"She will live."

"What happened?"

"Beverly had something that looked in every way to be the disease that she had feared it to be. However, as we began surgery, we found that it was something else. It was something that caused as much pain, if not more, but is more curable than the disease. We were able to cure her, and as we speak the doctors are just finishing the surgery."

He didn't know what to say to all of this, and he somehow felt that she wasn't done talking. Sure enough, she continued.

"Beverly should recover and be as good as new, with the exception of having a few headaches now and then. How long the recovery will take, I don't know. It could take her a year to be back to normal."

Jean-Luc let that sink in. She would live, but he realized that that also meant that she probably couldn't stay onboard the Enterprise with them anymore. At least she wouldn't be dead, he reminded himself. For some reason, that didn't comfort him much.

Later, he visited her in recovery. With a peaceful look on her face as she slept, she looked angelic. He sat on the end of her bed, and thought about what the doctor had said about her recovery. The Enterprise could stay for a week and a half, max. He told himself that this would be his final goodbye to her. He didn't think that he could say goodbye to her when she was awake.

As he sat thinking over these things, he felt her stirring. He got up off the bed as her eyes fluttered open.

"Jean-Luc? What happened? I – " She closed her eyes. "I thought I was dead." The last sentence was spoken softly.

"You had brain surgery. Dr. Heidi performed the surgery as soon as we landed."

"Am I going to live?" She asked the question as if she still thought that she was going to die.

"Yes."

Her eyes filled with tear as the realization that she was going to survive filled her. He looked away from her. It was getting harder and harder to let her go with every second he spent with her.

"Did you want me to get the doctor?"

"No," she sounded surprised by his sudden question.

"I am sure that she could explain it better than I could."

"Actually, maybe I should talk to Heidi." She still sounded surprised, and she sounded as if she still expected him to stay when Heidi came.

"I will go get her then." He was already drawing back. He was trying to let her go. He walked to the door. Then, right before he went through the doors, he turned around and looked at her again.

"Goodbye Beverly." Without giving her time to reply, he went out the door to find Heidi.


	7. Chapter 7: Beverly

Beverly stared at the door that Jean-Luc had just left from. That was strange. She didn't have time to think about that right then, though! She was going to live! Sure she still had a terrible headache, but if Jean-Luc was right then she at least had hope!

A few minutes later, the doors opened, and her old friend Heidi stepped in.

"Beverly!" She said. "How are you feeling?"

"I am fine."

She smirked at her. "Liar."

This brought a smile to her face, but it hurt so much to smile that she stopped. "Okay, so I have an awful headache, and every tiny sound sounds like a gunshot, But I have been told that I might actually live, so I think that I am okay."

Heidi smiled back. "Yes, you probably won't be feeling up to running a marathon anytime soon!" Then Heidi became suddenly serious. "You gave us quite a scare, Beverly."

"Sorry."

They became silent, and Beverly's thoughts turned to Deanna.

"Do you think that you could find my friend, Counselor Deanna Troi?"

Heidi grinned. "Yes, just a second."

She walked out to the door, stuck her head out, and said, "Deanna, you can come in now."

Seconds later, Deanna walked in.

"Beverly!" She looked relieved to see her. "How are you feeling?"

"Better."

"I am glad. Heidi said that you might not be feeling too well for quite some time."

"Probably not. Deanna, I am really sorry for not telling you earlier. I thought that not telling you would make it easier to let go, but now I realize that I needed to hold on, and not let go."

"Beverly, you know that I will always want to help you, and even if you knew that I would be upset when you told me, I still would want to know." Deanna walked to Beverly's bed, and gave her a hug. "Please tell me if anything ever happens again."

Beverly hugged her friend back. "I will, I promise."

"Good. Then all we have left to talk about is how we are going to convince Jean-Luc to leave you here."

"Leave me here?"

Deanna looked surprised. "You didn't tell her?" She asked Heidi. Then turning back to her, she explained. "You will recover, but it will take time and therapy that we can't provide for you aboard the Enterprise."

She was stunned. No one had said anything about having to stay. It made sense to her as a doctor, of course, but that didn't make it any easier for her to take as a patient. She thought about how Jean-Luc had acted earlier, and she realized that he had known. He had known and not told her. A small flare of anger filled her, but it was quickly snuffed out. Why would he have to tell her? It wasn't like she had told him everything in the past week.

"How long will the Enterprise be staying here?"

"Most likely a week and a half. I have a feeling that Captain Picard might not want to leave anytime soon."

Beverly knew that that was true. Jean-Luc would keep the ship there as long as possible, but he would have to leave soon. And when they left, she would be staying at Starfleet. Another thought came to her.

"Heidi, what types of therapy were you planning on doing?"

"Just the basic stuff. Why do you ask?"

"Is there anything that I couldn't do without the help of some doctors aboard the Enterprise?"

Deanna caught on to her thought. "I could help her! She can also stay in my quarters until she feels well enough to perform her regular duties aboard the Enterprise."

Beverly was getting excited. This might work! Only if Heidi approved though. "Would that work Heidi?"

Heidi smiled. "Yes, that would be just fine. I will give you a list of the exercises that you should do. You will have to stay here as long as possible, though."

Beverly smiled, and ignored the pain it brought. "Thank you Heidi."

Suddenly she felt tired. She sank back into the covers with a smile on her face, and soon fell asleep.


	8. Chapter 8: Deanna

As Deanna sat beside Beverly's bed, she thought about her week. She remembered when Captain Picard had first told them that Beverly was dying. She had felt like her world was crashing down around her. The only constant during that time had been Will Riker. He had stayed by her when she had needed him the most.

Beverly's eyes began to flicker open. Deanna smiled. It was good to know that her friend wasn't going to die.

"Beverly!"

"Deanna." Beverly's voice was soft. "What are you thinking about?"

Deanna gave a small smile. Sometimes she wondered if Beverly had some betaziod blood in her. "I was actually thinking about Will. He and I have such a complicated relationship. I don't know what to make of it."

"Complicated relationships. I know a bit about those. Are you thinking of a particular time?"

"Not really, but sometimes I think that we are more than friends, and other times I think that that we can only be friends. I only wish that he would tell me one or the other."

"I think that you should ask him."

"Beverly! You can't be serious!"

"I am. And I think that you should go right now."

"But I -" She began to protest.

"Deanna, I don't want to see you make the same mistake I did and let love slip away. Love has to take risks."

Deanna got up. Beverly was right. She would talk to her Imzadi.

A few minutes later, she stood in front of Will's doors. She lifted her hand to knock, but before her hand hit the door, it slid open.

"Deanna! What are you doing here? I thought that you would be with Beverly."  
"She told me to go see you."

"Oh? And why did she say that?"

"She thought that I should thank you."

"Why would you need to thank me?"

"For being there for me."

Will's face became soft. "Deanna, you should know that I will always be there for you."

"I think I do."

"Good."

Silence enveloped them.

"Did you want to come in?" He asked her.

She walked in and sat on the couch. He sat down next to her.

"Will, what happened to us?" She blurted out. This wasn't the way she had meant it to come out, but she couldn't take it back."

"What do you mean?"

"What happened that we can't talk to each other unless one of us is almost dying or an emotional wreck?"

"I don't know," He said softly.

"Can we go back to being friends?" This wasn't all Deanna wanted, but for now that was all she was going to go for.

"I don't know if that is good enough for me."

She looked up in surprise at his statement. He was incredibly close now. He bent over and kissed her on her cheek. He drew back and whispered into her ear.

"You tell me if we can just be friends."

This was all moving so fast! She hadn't expected this! "How am I going to know that you aren't going to leave me again?"

"I was stupid then. I didn't realize how much you meant to me, Imzadi."

She thought to him,_"That makes two of us."_

He smiled and kissed her on the lips. She said a silent thank you to Beverly.


	9. Chapter 9: Jean-Luc

Jean-Luc Picard was preparing his ship to leave Starfleet. The preparations were almost finished, but one task that he had one task that he had pushing out of the way until now. He had to get a new Chief Medical Officer.

Whether or not Beverly would return to the Enterprise didn't matter then. Until she felt well enough to be back aboard they needed a CMO aboard the ship. His door buzzed.

"Come in!"

Will Riker entered.

"Sir. I have come to see you concerning the hiring of a new CMO. I have a sheet of suggested questions for the interview, and a list of possible people."

He placed the sheets on his desk.

"Thank you."

He began looking through the questions. Immediately, he began imagining how Beverly would answer the questions. He put the sheet back down. "Number one?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Could you hire the CMO for me?"

"Of course, sir." For some reason, Will didn't seem too surprised at this request.

He was relieved. He didn't think that he would be able to hire a new CMO that wasn't Beverly.

"Very well then. I will go see how things are going on the bridge and finish preparing for leaving the base."

Will nodded and left the room. Jean-Luc relaxed. He didn't actually need to be at the bridge right then, but he had to keep himself busy. He didn't like where his thoughts had been going when he stopped working. He didn't like where his thoughts were going, even when he was working. But still working helped. He sighed as he left his room to go to the bridge.

Later that day, they were just about to leave the station. Will was back on the bridge.

"Did you find a CMO?"

"Yes sir. She is very qualified for the position. She won't be able to begin work immediately, but will be aboard the ship."

"Very well. Thank you, Number One."

Minutes later, they were back in space. Jean-Luc looked back at the Starfleet fading behind him. "Goodbye Beverly," He whispered.

Their next mission was a peace treaty, and it went smoothly. He never once saw his new CMO, but he wasn't seeking her out. He still couldn't imagine anyone but Beverly being the CMO. He even be sitting in his room and he would swear that he heard Beverly's voice, but when he walked out, he never saw anyone. Upon one such occasion, he walked out and this time he saw Deanna there.

"Deanna! Have you seen anyone around here?"

"No, why do you ask?"

"No reason. Have you heard of how Dr. Crusher is recovering?"

Deanna smiled. "Yes, she is doing well, and her therapy is going excellently." She smirked. "Not that Beverly enjoys doing the therapy, of course."

"Thank you, Deanna."

He went back into his room. He hadn't talked to Beverly since after her surgery. And realized that he missed her.


	10. Chapter 10: Beverly

Beverly had had enough of the therapy.

"Deanna, do we have to do the leg lifts again?!"

"Yes, you know what the doctor said. If you don't do the exercises, then you have to go back to Starfleet. "

Beverly knew this better than most. She had often helped patients with their therapy, but this still didn't help her cope with staying in Deanna's room all the time. Sometimes, she would walk the hallways with Deanna, but after such a close call with Jean-Luc this morning, she didn't think that she would go out any time soon. Deanna didn't understand why she didn't want to tell Jean-Luc that she was aboard. In fact, she didn't fully understand it herself.

No, that wasn't true. When she was being completely honest with herself, she realized it was because she was afraid.

She was afraid of what he would say to her. She wondered if he would even want her aboard the ship. He hadn't ever come to see her after her surgery. She didn't know when she would tell him, but she didn't want to think about that.

"Just because I understand why I have to do the therapy, doesn't make it any more enjoyable!"

"Would it make it any better if you could do them in your own quarters?"

"You're joking!"

"No, I just talked to Dr. Heidi, and she said that you can move back in."

"Finally!" Beverly had been asking to move back into her own quarters a soon after she was able to walk on her own. "Not that I didn't enjoy sharing your quarters of course, Deanna."

Deanna laughed. "Of course not."

"When can I go back?"

"Today, if you want."

"I want to!"

"Okay, then let's finish these exercises."

She groaned and Deanna smirked.


	11. Chapter 11: Jean-Luc

Jean-Luc couldn't believe himself. He could not go five minutes without thinking about Beverly. He knew that it might become better if he were to meet the new CMO, to convince himself that Beverly wasn't coming back to him, but he couldn't bring himself to go meet her. He realized that he didn't even know her name! He shook his head. This was getting out of hand. If he didn't do something to forget about Beverly, then he would be turning the ship around to head back to Starfleet to bring her back with him.

He would go meet the new CMO.

"Computer, what is the location of the Chief Medical officer?"

"The Chief Medical Officer is in her quarters."

"Thank you."

As he walked towards the CMO's quarters, he tried to stop himself of thinking of when he had been walking the same way weeks ago, when he had first found out that Beverly was dying. He wouldn't think about how frail she looked in the hospital bed after her surgery. He wouldn't think – He arrived at the doors.

He knocked, running over his speech in his head. Apologize for not coming earlier, then welcome her aboard the ship, then - The doors slid open and he saw the surprised face of Deanna. Why was she here?

"Deanna? What are you doing here?"

She was looking less surprised. "I was just visiting our new CMO."

"I can come later or - " He could put this off for a bit longer.

"No, I was just leaving. She is over there." Deanna smiled as she gesture behind her to the living room.

He walked in. The first thing he noticed was the incredibly dim light. The second was the wheelchair by a pile of boxes. The person in the wheelchair had her back to him. He couldn't make out any features in the dim lighting.

The person in the chair spun around.

"Deanna, I thought that you - " Beverly stopped and went white when she saw him standing there. Beverly!

"Jean-Luc?" She sounded scared.

He was still too stunned to talk. She was here on his ship and in a wheelchair! He was just processing this thought when she spoke again.

"What are you doing here?" She asked him.

He became angry. "What am I doing here? This is my ship! What are you doing here? I thought that you were supposed to be at Starfleet!"

"I was." She was beginning to look less surprised now, whereas he was becoming more and more confused.

"But she said the recovery would take years!" He spoke his only rational thought. He was still debating whether or not to yell at her for not telling him that she was aboard the ship, or being happy that she was.

"You should have listened better, Jean-Luc. It can take a year to be fully back to normal. It is usually only takes a few weeks before you can be back to work, as long as you take breaks. I have made quite a speedy recovery." She was calm! How could she be so calm! HE was usually the calm one!

"But you are aboard the Enterprise!"

"Yes, I am! Is there something wrong with that?" She sounded defensive now.

He couldn't believe it! All this time she had been on the same ship as him! It all made sense now. The voices that he had thought that he had heard, that was her! And that was why he hadn't seen his new CMO around the ship. He didn't have a new CMO! It was just Beverly! Why hadn't she told him? He looked back at her. She was still pale, and in a wheelchair, but the last time he had seen her, she had just come out of surgery!

"No, Nothing wrong at all." He was trying to regain some composure now.

"Jean-Luc, I am sorry for not telling you that I was aboard the ship, but I wasn't feeling well enough to come to you." He doubted that that was the only issue, but he let it slide.

"I understand."

They became silent again, and he looked back at her. She looked exhausted.

"Could you help me to the couch?"

In reply, he took her arm. She slowly got up, and he helped her toward the couch. Halfway there, she collapsed, slipping through his hands to the ground and she began making strange noises.

"Beverly!" He crouched down and turned her over. When he saw her face, he realized that she was laughing! He relaxed again, and sat back on his knees. "You scared me to death!"

She didn't stop laughing. "Maybe I - laugh - should do - more laughter - more of those exercises!"

He smiled. With that, all the tension between them dissolved. He helped her to the couch and then sat next to her.

He broke the silence. "Why didn't you actually tell me you were aboard the ship, Beverly?"

She didn't answer.

"Beverly, you must know that my feelings for you haven't changed since the day I met you, and in the past few years, I have grown to cherish our friendship dearly. If anything that I have done in that past few days has done anything to damage that friendship, I ask you to forgive me."

She remained silent.

He knew that he had done everything that he could do now. He got up to leave.

"Jean-Luc." Beverly's voice was tender.

He looked back at her. She looked about to cry.

"The reason that I didn't tell you I was on the ship was because of those feelings."

He looked down. He knew that he shouldn't have spoken. "I - "

"Shhh. Let me finish."

He quieted.

"When I was dying," He shuddered at the reminder of her close call. "I thought about the reason why I had been pushing you out. I had been telling myself that that was what Jack" Her voice cracked, but she continued. "what Jack would have wanted, but now I realize that Jack would have told me to go on living my life. He would have wanted that life to include my happiness. And that can include relationships."

She looked up with tears in her eyes. "I didn't know if you returned those feelings still. That was why I didn't tell you that I was aboard the Enterprise. Jean-Luc, I think that I am in love with you."

He kissed her. At first she was surprised, but then she kissed him back. He had been dreaming about this moment for as long as he could remember, and now that it was here, it didn't feel real.

When they broke apart, he whispered, "Beverly, I know I am in love with you."

She smiled and kissed him again. If this was a dream, he never wanted to wake up.


End file.
